Well not much to talk about today except our heated exchanges this morning at 6.30am, that's slack (my wife) & myself. My new Tom Tom wanted to go left at the end of the drive & I wanted to go right, more about that later. The boat journey from Ibiza to Barcelona that was supposed to take 4hrs took 5 hrs for some reason, we went club class, oooh, that meant a complimnentry meal!! Well I can honestly say without any exageration that the croisant was bigger than the little foil wrapped pat of butter, it was a butter sandwich. Very friendly & good service though. The poor dogs had been locked in the hold for this time & were a bit agitated, Lucy had wet her bed like a dirty protest I suppose.

We stopped for a light lunch of snitzel & chips, I did anyway, making the most of my free feeding days while I can & then had to shoot off as the dogs were tied up outside in the car park & we had started talking about dognapping & how it would ruin everything. We decided that as Blossom is a pedigree she is the one that would most likely get dognapped, we discussed it a little further & decided that that would be the best option as we don't really like her :) not really.

The Tom Tom guided us through Carcasonne town centre for some bizarre reason as we always carry on down the motorway, this added about an hr on the trip, we're glad it did because its a beautiful town & we will definately be going there for a holiday sometime.

Picked up some Poilly Fume as a thank you to my sister (we are staying with her in her little hotel in a hamlet called Burlats, nr Castre on the river La Gout, a subsidary of the River Tarn I think? Tel 0033 563 51 64 01 since you ask! Very favourable rates & family friendly, good cook too!

Well today is a national music day throughout France so we are going out to join in with the local carrot crunchers in the bar that is in the post office. So I bid you all good night & if I am near a wi fi tomorrow I'll update you all, I know most people are waiting for the pooey bit but you are just going to have to wait. Bon nuit.

Hi everyone, my name is Steve Taylor, 18 & a half stone. Tomorrow I leave the beautiful island of Ibiza, my home for the last 6 or more years to go to France for a weeks cookery course that my wife bought for me for Xmas. I am taking the car, my wife, Mary Ann without an E & my 3 dogs Lucy, Blossom & Sam. The cookery school has given us a cottage & has kindly let us have the dogs stay with us, soooooooooooo different to Spain who seem to hate dogs, even seem to go out of their way to be horrible to them.

I am set for a week of foie gras, goose & duck fat & garlic, followed by a leisurely drive north to England where I, on my own will be checking into a kind of health farm, a kind of drastic health farm where you eat clay, drink fruit & vegetable juice & pour coffee up your arse! A friend of mine recommended the course & has warned me of the sharp changes I should expect. Its kinda Heaven to Hell in the space of a few days if you like. If you are interested I shall be posting my feelings, its supposed to be like a roller coaster ride, mixed emotions & maybe even a few hallucinations as I detox.

Watch this space & please wish me well!