12th July 2007

Wakey wakey, happy campers! This is my last day, I’ve been a bit quiet because I’ve have nothing to report of any significance. The usual routine, it’s become very dull to say the least, I’d hate to be locked up in prison, even a participant in big brother would be better off with the food, that would no doubt be balanced out by the low life knuckle dragging to tossas on the show though.

Last night we had a liquid made of boiled potato skins, carrots, parsnips & turnips, a consommé really, no substance to it at all, like the shit they’d have been eating in Belsen. It tasted fab, the taste buds have been so starved of sensations that I was aware of every subtlety. Last night was my first difficult experience, I am completely empty of shit, I flushed through about 4 litres of water last night & absolutely nada. Then for the first time I couldn’t sleep until 1 am.

The course finishes tonight at 7am, we are to be given a selection of raw foods which they hope we are going to embrace, I’ll be embracing it tonight for sure but I can’t see me living on raw cabbage, mung beans & carrots for the rest of my life. Then tomorrow morning we get a bag of fruit to take on our journey home.

My eyes are bright, I have no permanent runny nose, my skin has cleared after a period of purging all the poisons, I’m hardly aware of my bad knee & neck joints & on top of all this I’ve given my liver a much needed rest & lost, literately shit loads of weight & rested.

On the other hand I am forgetful. vague & a little too mellow for my liking. I haven’t watched hardly any TV or videos & I’ve only read half of the Steven King novel (finished now), I haven’t even turned on one of my 3 ipods, this I guess is down to lack of concentration as the body tries to conserve energy? So I have to hope that my concentration is OK to drive tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow night I am booked into a double room right in the middle of Salisbury, I’ll have a few hrs to explore & shop, then I’ll sample some normal food, we’ve been warned to take it easy, a salad with a chicken breast? A glass of wine definitely although they’ve said it’s not such a good idea. They’ve said that about everything so far, nothing really has happened to me that has happened to the others on the course (lightweights :) ) , not even a headache or bellyache. I’ll leave at 8 am & pick Slacky & my lovely dogs up in Dorking & proceed immediately to the channel Tunnel & my sisters B&B in SW France, then home to Sunny Ibiza away from all this shit weather, I don’t know how the Brit’s put up with it, rain & taxation. You are welcome to it amigos.

Conclusion: Would I do it again? Yes. I have my own “surfboard” now so at least I’ll have a clean colon if nothing else. I will try to moderate my life from now on & try to eat more greens, less fat & red meat. Obviously I’m gonna fall off the wagon from time, but then I’m not a monk!

Well unless something drastic happens in the next few days it addios. If you've taken the time to to read this then thanks, maybe it'll inspire you. The cookery course certainly inspired me & hopefully this retreat has changed my life, forever? In case you interested check out the website for this retreat www.suradetox.com If there is anything you want to know or if you should wish to pop around to my gaff for a quick colonic then you have my details!. Bye x